Having Trouble Respecting Your Boss?
Not respecting your boss can come from many sources... you don’t agree with their kept working hours, the way they spend money on certain things for the department but do not approve of others. It could be the way they operate in their personal life, and you are unfortunately privy to that. Or, more often than not, it’s the way they espouse company values and rules but ignore them in their own day-to-day actions.
The cautionary tale of not respecting one’s boss is that it can turn into disillusionment pretty quickly. Disillusionment can lead us to act in ways we normally wouldn’t, and we find ourselves out of line with our own standards of performance.
Meaning, you base your performance and work efforts in reaction to how you feel about your boss. Maybe you start missing deadlines, not taking care with the details of the product, or talking negatively all the time, which is in turn draining for you and you end up disappointed and disengaged.
Ironically, when this happens, you are disappointed at how they are not acting with integrity, but you also end up acting similarly out of integrity.
The path back is to take inventory of how you would operate in your day-to-day if you had an ideal leader. Next, compare that to how you find yourself performing or thinking today. If there are gaps, it's up to you to decide what to do about it.
Some options available:
Be clear about what is in your control and out of your control.
Consider moderating the expectations you are putting on your boss, is it worth it?
Try to change your perspective on the situation, is there something about the job you love, and for your own sake, can you reconcile your feelings about your boss?
Can you get what you were hoping to get from your boss from another source, seeking out a mentor, sponsor, an ally from another team?
Maybe you have an opportunity to move on and it’s time.
Keep in mind, what bothers you is not your lack of respect for your boss, but the feeling about that lack of respect. And you do have control over that.
How do you find ways to handle this situation?